I think too much. I am my own worst enemy. This IS who I am. I am also the person who will randomly make friends with a complete stranger. I believe that there is goodness in everyone. My passion lies in helping others. I am fiercely loyal. I make mistakes – shit, I make a lot of them, but they are all mine. I have the biggest heart – so big that I love overwhelmingly big. It’s the kind of love that could move mountains. These are the things that I know to be true – the needles that guide my own compass.
I started writing this post two days ago. That’s how much I think about things. A lot of scribbled words, crumpled papers, and here we are, hammering out something honest because I always want to make sure that what I write and what I say are exactly what I mean.
Lately I have been getting annoyed with social media posts. I know. I KNOW! Weird right? I mean it’s weird because I am such a fan of documenting my own adventures and accomplishments, but lately I am finding my thoughts are spinning into a negative spiral. I am getting caught up in the comparison game and feeling inadequate. Meanwhile, I know FULL WELL that I am the first person to encourage others and that their journeys have NO bearing on me. That these journeys are all magical in their own right. Feeling all the feels, I’ve been forced to once again, dig deep. Dig deep into my heart of hearts and remember that I don’t need to feed into the negative hype I am creating.
A lot of times I wonder why I write this blog since I am TERRIBLE at writing posts often, but then I realize that this is my outlet, my attempt at inspiring others, and heck, sometimes even a way to inspire myself.
In my last post, I wrote about how I was chasing a 35 minute 5k finish time at STWM. Well, that didn’t happen, BUT, I am not going to sit here and write a list of excuses on why that didn’t happen because that is not the girl I am anymore. Instead, I am going to write about the awesome things that did happen.
- For the first time EVER, I ran a 5:07 km which is my FASTEST km ever. I never dreamed that I would bust into the 5 minute realm, but here I am.
- This was also the first time I have finished a race where I was completely happy with my results. I didn’t sit back and look for flaws in the run, or how I could have done better. I embraced the run for just that – the run.
But the biggest accomplishment for me at STWM was knowing in my heart that I put everything I had into the run, and that it was enough. That I don’t need to feel inadequate. That I’ve already accomplished great things and that my future is going to be filled with even more amazing, awe inspiring moments. That the universe is still guiding me by sending me kindred messages from an awesome human being that I am connected to, who reminded me today that it’s totally rad to ALWAYS “be myselfie”.