I’m throwing it back to October 20th, 2013, that epic day that I ran my first 5k race from start to finish at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon. The race that started it all. The race that began the addiction to all things running. The race that built my house of goals, and the race that I just happened to goal crush yesterday as I beat last year’s time by 6 minutes. Ya, you can call me speedy now. Just kidding! But seriously, whoop whoop!
As happy as I am that I achieved such a great success yesterday, the bad news of this story is that I was hungry for more. I really wanted to break the 40 minute mark yesterday, and as hard as I pushed, it just wasn’t enough. I think the most heart crushing part was that my trusty, but not so trusty watch had me clocked in at 38:39, but my chip time had me “officially” crossing the finish at 40:52. GAH! SO FRUSTRATING. *shakes fist at watch* I know, I KNOW! I should just shut up and be happy about shaving 6 minutes off, but I am ALWAYS hard on myself. Did I celebrate that 6 minutes? Absolutely! (I enjoyed a celebratory eggs benedict breakfast post-race) It’s just hard when your heart wants something so badly and you JUST miss it by a hair.
As I sit here in my reflective state, I can see how far I have come on this running journey of mine, but I also feel a void within me. As grateful as I am for everything running has taught me, it has also created somewhat of a monster. After accomplishing my first half marathon, and religiously telling all of you about it, I’m not going to lie, it’s been really hard trying to find the words to write to you as I just feel like I don’t have anything exciting to write about anymore.
And even though I wrote about my next goal being a triathlon next summer in hopes that it would ignite the same passion as writing about my first half marathon did, it hasn’t. It has just left me with a feeling of what’s next? Where am I headed? And with that, I will leave you with somewhat of a cliffhanger status. There is a goal I have been thinking about a lot lately and whether or not I am ready for that challenge. I haven’t quite been able to make a decision. My heart knows what it wants, but my mind is being difficult, so when I found this quote today, let’s just say that it’s helping persuade my mind to follow my heart. Stay tuned.