Foam Rolling…Not to be Mistaken with Foam Parties



So, in the past week I have jumped into a whole new adventure to aid me in my quest to become a faster and stronger runner.  I can now say I am no longer a spin class virgin, and that I have a new found hatred for burpees, which I am sure will turn into a romance sooner rather than later.

One of the most striking things I am learning throughout this training process is that there is always room for preconceived notions to be busted.  The biggest one for me is the idea that running will get you into the fittest shape of your life.  WRONG.  Running will get you into the best aerobic fitness of your life, and this is a lesson I am learning as I take on cross-training more seriously.  I realized this when I went to my first class at a local sports training facility and I learned how to do the dreaded burpee.  Ask me to run for an hour and I will do it without much pain afterward.  Ask me to complete a workout of the day coupled with burpees and I will hurt FOR DAYS.  Literally every muscle in my body pulsated as if they were twerking in sync with a Miley Cyrus tune.  The same went for my first spinning class.  I went on Thursday night and it still hurts trying to sit down.  Whatever.  That age old saying, “no pain, no gain” has a whole new meaning for me.

The one thing that has remained constant on this journey is no matter what the activity, I will hate everything about it for the first 15 minutes I am doing it.  That internal negative voice is constantly nattering away at me and belittling me like a debutant would a commoner, yet somehow, I manage to get through it.  I refuse to quit.

Anyway, onto the real deal, what this post was supposed to be all about…foam rolling.  Hard to believe, but this and stretching are by far my most loathed of all the things involved with my training regime.  I know, I know, these are the EASIEST things to do, and I HATE them with fire of a billion zillion suns.  So I got a foam roller on the weekend along with a yoga strap to help me stretch.  I hate these exercises so much, I stared at the roller and yoga strap on Saturday when I brought them home.  Yup.  Just sat there and STARED at them before walking away.  Sunday rolls on by and FINALLY I decide to take the wheel and try doing the exercises my coach has asked me to do.  Insert rolling on your side with a huge foam tube.  Sounds fun right?  WRONG.  Most painful experience of my life.  The only words I have are, “Fuck you foam roller and the materials that made you.”  If I were to give my foam roller a name it would be Xerxes because of its ruthlessness.  Now that I’m done that rant, I can go on to tell you that despite all of the ridiculousness of the foam roller, I actually felt a sense of relief in terms of muscle tension after putting myself through that torture.  Here’s to hoping it gets less painful along the way.  Why I keep subjecting myself to this pain is a question I’ll leave to be answered in another post, mostly because I don’t even have an answer to give you right now.  Until next time friends.

Yours swiftly,



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