Confessions

So my countdown clock says I have a little over two days before the most highly anticipated race (to date) of my life commences, and what do I do?  I eat one of these bad boys:

 

cupcake

Pretty sure I just ATE my feelings, and of course, today is rest day.  Here’s what I have to say to that.  WHATEVER.  Tomorrow is another day, and the only thing I should be focusing on is Sunday’s race. Not the mistake I just made eating that piece of garbage (which was highly delicious, but again, WHATEVER).

My feelings right now (aside from shame and gluttony) are ummm, mediocre.  I mean, I feel prepared, and I am excited, but there is still fear lingering in there about how well I will perform come Sunday.  I realize that last sentence sounded a lot like the internal monologue of a teenager before a sexual encounter, but hey, I am actually feeling scared that I’ll choke (no pun intended, or wait…).  This whole thought process is so similar to the internal mind battle during an actual run.  The negative thoughts (or satan’s whispers as I like to call them) are so hard to combat sometimes, and the thing with running, or anything really, is that you have to truly believe not only in the act of running itself, but more importantly, you have to believe in yourself.

This past week I keep reminding myself of my starting point on this journey in an effort to make me realize that I’ve got this race on lock down.  I remind myself that a month ago, I couldn’t run 5km straight, and now, I can run 6.5km.  I remind myself that as much as I want to be able to finish the race in 35 minutes, it probably won’t happen, but that ACTUALLY finishing it will mean I’ve just accomplished something I haven’t done before: running an entire 5km race without stopping, and that is something my negative thoughts can’t rob me of.  So at this stage, all I can do is keep my eye on the prize.  The thing I am most excited for is feeling like an Olympian when I get my medal at the end.  It’s not gold, but it might as well be for me.  Until next time!

 

Yours swiftly,

Alex

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